Sickness

...Geh....Okay, here's the deal people...a week ago, I seriously had a bad cold, then it went away for one week and it came back again during the weekend..only this time worse.

I know, people have it worse then me...but it sorta scares me since The swine has been around and all through the week and this weekend I had to eat MEAT...where swine flu comes from pigs..right....so yeah
....Right now I dont even know how Im even writing this blog...I cant feel my arms and legs, My head is pounding, my left eye lost feeling, and my stomach fricken kills!
I cant even swallow or close my eyes without saying "ow" or holding my head.

And one of my friends named Anthony or whatever. TONY...made it even worse, he started telling me the symptoms of swine and saying I have it and grah!
....He keeps saying If I fall asleep I'll end up in a coma or something...literally...I dont believe him...but heh....Who am I to say?

& Anyways, I think certain people would want me dead...or have CURSED me to die or bad things to happen....hmmm....I wonder....If I did end up in a coma...if they would be happy or If they just would say "good for her" and live on a happy life.
...I just wonder...and like I tell everyone who has told me they read my blog...My life isnt so exciting...so maybe, If I did end up in a coma. It'll be somewhat exciting..well, until I die of course.

It's funny too...cuz all day...when I was at some mothers day party my bro's godmother had...I was still feeling sick and besides being on the phone, I was thinking that maybe...if I were to really get so sick...people wouldnt care...well...some people I know will and others wont...
All weekend I felt like someone I care about has forgotten about me and thrown me to the side basically saying Im useless and Im nothing to that person anymore.....
I dont know who....and I know want to even guess...I was thinking about who it could be...but...I dont want to think of it....

So...maybe...getting real sick or hurt...wouldnt make a difference in anyone's life cuz everyone would be happy with one less person living in this world....

Okay....I definitly dont know what Im writing..but arent I at least telling the truth?
I thought I had some of my old family back but then that past appears in my mind and shreds memories and I end up getting this heavy feeling in my chest, like something is about to rip apart...Idk, it's either my senses talking...or Im going completely physco.


All I Can Do Now Is Sit Back, Listen To Music And Wait To Be Ripped Apart By Someone I Care About

~ MoyashiLotus