Tears

Who knew that when you cry...for someone so very important....it hurts...It hurts a lot!

Yeakeh. Im crying..still...as always...I cant take it!...r
I've Kept these tears long. enough for my eyes to sting...til I cry...then thats when it really hurts...Sure. I let it all out But what about tomorrow?!

... Nothing's gonna stop me from crying cuz I just cant control my tears or emotions...I'll keep letting the rain fall.

And I always gotta feel so weak while crying....

I'm so sick of this...but what can I do but stay in the battle field and continue to fight...even with the lack of energy I have...
Once again...I don't need any help from anyone...
No one will know my problems...cuz their kept to myself...I'm the only one there is to fight this stupid thing...even though I need help...
I'll either end up winning this battle.
or Ill be falling and loosing it all on my own.

I Want To Forgive...But How Can I When I'm So Scared To...?



~ MoyashiLotus

Screw Happy Endings

Heya blog people...or whoever's reading...haven't written one of these in awhile...heh...
well...I've just been busy with AnimeNorth, cosplaying which was FUN btw and then drama at school. *sighs* but my friend Lydia wants me to write a blog so she can know what's on my mind since...I can always let things on my mind go freely here...
and as the title says...Screw Happy Endings. Meaning This won't be a happy blog.

Yeah...after AnimeNorth...and after Sunday. Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday...haven't been good days. I haven't been on good terms with meh bro bro Daniel.
Here's the story: Day 1. Monday. He was annoying me so I said I wouoldnt talk to him

but I was just joking then a friend of mine Haneen says otherwise and says stuff like I wouldnt do. but I took not talking to him for a week as my challenge. and so far. I havent. but...worse thing comes to worse.
Im so pissed at him!...and Im not gonna say this to anyone cuz...well I know people from my school will read and annoy me and ask if Im okay or if anything's wrong. or just spread the word.


The thing is, I would like to talk to my bro and forgive him even if he didnt know what he did. Yeah, I'm not stupid I know he doesnt know what he did, he just wants me to talk to him.
But I can't Im scared too...
I tried talking...but my mouth wouldnt move and I just talk way too softly....Instead...suring french I mouthed Im sorry...to myself and to him?...Im sure he didnt see even if he was just sitting right across.... But oh god...I am scared to ever forgive and talk to him.
I'm such an idiot too....I always cry...like after he's around and tries to say sorry....After he leaves I feel real bad and just cuz I wanna talk to him, I get some pain and end up crying...I hate crying in class or showing Im weak to anyone...so Like normal girls, I hides under my hood and wrap my arms around my face...and lay my head on the desk.
But me...being the idiot one...hadda to that....
I need meh old Bro...Mikey...I need him now to tell me everything's gonna be okay...but I know if I were to talk to him...It would hurt...Member...I hate talking about them, to them...anything that includes them nowadays....But I always loved his comfort...I remembered the last time I cried while he was around. He told me to smile or else the world would frown. I thought it was stupid but it made sense...then the jokes came...which made it better....
Losing the both of them sucked.....and I still dont have em....
But I have memories...and Daniel....
He acts like Michael...in a way to me....
If I lose Daniel like I lost...Mikey and Steph....Then I've truly lost most of my family...and I've lost another dear one.
I know what you're thinking....what about Annie?
Yeah...Annie's going to High school while Im left in middle school...well..it's life. CHEZ LA VIE.
So...Ill get used to it...and live with it...but i gotta live one more year with Daniel.....

I don't know...it just hurts...A lot...so I dont need any other drama.
In my eyes. not talking to Daniel make other people in the school happy.
I dont know. Haneen seems glad about it cuz now she gets to talk to the boys without me hanging around them much and she can laugh with Daniel and all that she wants. Tamyka, well, she hated any girl talking to him and I bet she still liked him since she's his ex...so I bet she's smirking and having a god dam great laugh about this.


I don't know...but should I....keep trying...?
Should I keep trying to talk to the dude?
Should I open my mouth...?
....I don't know.
I would like to laugh and smile and talk to him and make him laugh again to but.
ableh...Im one less person he needs to care about. there are a million other people he can care about besides me.

I needa be there for meh sis Jen, Okto, Annie, Lydia...we're all having tough times. and I'm fighting this battle with myself everyday. I don't know If I'll win in the end. but sis [any of u guys who r readin this]...I'm trying. I'm trying to win this war or battle that I'm having to fight. to speak. to really smile. to be myself again.
It's harder then it looks and I will reject any help offered. For this one time...I have to fight this war on my own without any help because it's me that I'm facing not just random person I meet on a battle field. it's ME v.s. ME... this battle decides my next step, whether I win over my depression and coming back to normal or staying quiet for a longer period.

but I just want all of you to know...I'm trying. I'm trying my best till the end. I'll fight for my family which I believe will always be there for me in the end no matter what. *slight smile*
because I know you guys will always be there for me...That's why I'll keep on fighting.

Note To Jen: I know you're tired of everything..how fake people are...but you know, that you're also facing a war that you can't loose just yet...and I'll always be the first to slap you if u go unconcious. *huggles her* Cuz I'll be around for you physically and mentally. you know that. Dam Mini Moyashi, take care of yourself!!! >.< Note To Lydia: Even though dudes have broken your heart and are idiots for who they are and how they are, I know I can count on you cuz ur teh best sis, with advice and everything. I luv you and you know what. there will one day be someone out there for you. ^^

Note To Okto: Thank you a tons big sis. *hugs her* You always make me smile which always make my day, even when Im having a crappy day I know coming to you can alway put a smile on meh face when randomness is around. Arigatou. ^^

Note To Annie: My worrys-a-lot big sis...Imma be fine when you leave. and I thank you a lot. more then anyone around. you're always there no matter what the sitch. Im glad you always were around to protect me and tell things were going to be okay. Don't forget to keep in touch once u go to HS...Imma miss you A lot. *smiles*

and....lastly I guess....

Note To Daniel: Bro Bro...Before the shittyness...I still gots to thank you cuz well...u always had the magic to send away my problems with the jokes and pervyness, and that takes a lot...and with all the shit u have going on Im surprised u had time to actually make me laugh....well..thanks. cuz I do wish u best in everything. and I do care for u and just cuz I dont talk to u doesnt mean I dont care...SO SMILE AND LAUGH GOD DAMMIT!!!


....only notes for people I have for now I guess....No..i don't get a happy ending cuz Im still fighting this war in the rain till it ends. it won't end till the cloud is cleard and the rain has stopped and my face has been cleared of water and blood.

I don't control my emotions when it comes to sadness since I barely cry...so it all happens on its own...

well like always...I should go now..before I stay up latore then 2 am.

and just so you know..the whole time through this blog...i've been crying slightly...so I'll be crying myself to sleep tonight...well

Goodnight

~ MoyashiLotus

How To Save A Life

↑ I Edited The Picture Above. ↑


How To Save A Life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

- The Fray

.....It's one of the songs that I can listen to that truly always makes me cry...cuz I cant save anyone's life or make mine any better...current state: Good.
Good is never GREAT or AWESOME...It's the opposite...*sighs* meaning in my own definition meaning
"I'm Okay enough to be living another day."
Yeah..that's the truth.

I don't have a sanctuary anymore. Nope...No sanctuary....well...maybe...I guess...my own safe place is my mind, when I'm asleep...School, nope, I have drama there, again with some haters with my 4 people family. yeah. Like I don't have enough there. I really don't care about school drama much since I'll be leaving that school in a year.
At home!...well...no...not much really...the arguing between my mom and bro has calmed down so I'm pretty good..but I wouldn't call it my sanctuary...at all...
Online!...well...NO
Before it was though...now it's not....I still feel like I'm being talked behind my back...by most people I see on...and in a bad way or something. IDK.

...heh....the only thing that ever comes to my mind is if Im ever going to feel that real pain people want me to feel.
Do people think I'm stupid?
Do they think that just because I act happy and stupid and idiotic that i can't notice the way they are?
That I can't be serious?
That I can't feel that I'm not being trusted or cared for....?
I'm not stupid...I act stupid because...If I didn't...I would never smile...never be happy...and people who do care for me would worry...
I doubt that the people I care about...don't care about me as much....
...Please...To anyone who doesn't care or just wants me dead...just wish me dead already...Im not suicidal...I'm not emo...But if it makes anyone happy...then my death should do it... or at least getting suverely injured....

Really...I dont like writing these kinds of blogs...but I always end up writing them...I write whatever I feel...and Idk..out of nowhere..I felt pain...from my chest...like it wants to break open...heh...think of me as some lotus...then suddenly getting sliced by a Katana...watching my petals fall in dark waters and drowned.
I don't like the thoughts and feelings I write down..but they're true...and If you really knew me..it would make sens...I THINK....Well no...haha...I hide everything under goofy acts and smiles and aces...everything...
...No one knows the real pain inside me...No one knows how much pain I've been in since Tuesday..since that stupid fight....since the day my friend left.....
Since the first problem of this year started...since the last Ive seen my cousins...since the day My grandpa died...since the day my mom's been trying to make me her...since I've been told stupidness....idioticness....since I've been used.....
4 years....I'll start from there...the amount of years I havent seen my cousins....I'm not gonna lie...I miss them...and I hate the years after that whole family issues/fight thing that happened....

I wonder If people believe at a second chance at life...I do...

I'm more or less...emotionless at some subjects...talk about my past and it's always like some sword would go through me and my chest would split AGAIN.
Talk about anything else...I wouldnt really care about...
Talk about my family at home...I wouldnt mind....
talk about specific families I have that arent my real family...well, it depends on which family..but I would have some kind of emotion..Im not so emo with my family in that case.
I just normally dont talk with my real family. BARELY that is.

I may look like im happy and such in a way but on the inside...Im hard, cold, emotionless...and dead. My mind, my world inside...I can tell you something...how I picture it.
Me, in the center, sitting alongside a lake, looking inside it, holding onto my sketchbook, with trees surrounded around, leaves falling, wind blowing and my fngertips inside those "dark waters."
I wouldn't drink that water though...like i said...I want to live...im not stupid enough to think that just because things are rough on me right now...i should end my life, cuz before hand it's been hell...NO.
I'm smart enough to know that...sooner or lator..hopefully, I'll get better...
and...people tell me...problem is, Should I trust them on that?
How can I trust people...If I dont know they trust me?

"Trust...Something having to give out and be gained. a prize to be shared with more then one"

My definition....

...yeah...Im going to sleep in class tomorrow...I've been staying up late lately since I can never sleep....

but..just one request to whoever knows me and is reading this.
Answer me this question the next time you talk to me...
"DO YOU TRUST ME?"

Stupid chest pain....stupid headaches...

*sighs*...well...night guys

- MoyashiLotus

Sickness

...Geh....Okay, here's the deal people...a week ago, I seriously had a bad cold, then it went away for one week and it came back again during the weekend..only this time worse.

I know, people have it worse then me...but it sorta scares me since The swine has been around and all through the week and this weekend I had to eat MEAT...where swine flu comes from pigs..right....so yeah
....Right now I dont even know how Im even writing this blog...I cant feel my arms and legs, My head is pounding, my left eye lost feeling, and my stomach fricken kills!
I cant even swallow or close my eyes without saying "ow" or holding my head.

And one of my friends named Anthony or whatever. TONY...made it even worse, he started telling me the symptoms of swine and saying I have it and grah!
....He keeps saying If I fall asleep I'll end up in a coma or something...literally...I dont believe him...but heh....Who am I to say?

& Anyways, I think certain people would want me dead...or have CURSED me to die or bad things to happen....hmmm....I wonder....If I did end up in a coma...if they would be happy or If they just would say "good for her" and live on a happy life.
...I just wonder...and like I tell everyone who has told me they read my blog...My life isnt so exciting...so maybe, If I did end up in a coma. It'll be somewhat exciting..well, until I die of course.

It's funny too...cuz all day...when I was at some mothers day party my bro's godmother had...I was still feeling sick and besides being on the phone, I was thinking that maybe...if I were to really get so sick...people wouldnt care...well...some people I know will and others wont...
All weekend I felt like someone I care about has forgotten about me and thrown me to the side basically saying Im useless and Im nothing to that person anymore.....
I dont know who....and I know want to even guess...I was thinking about who it could be...but...I dont want to think of it....

So...maybe...getting real sick or hurt...wouldnt make a difference in anyone's life cuz everyone would be happy with one less person living in this world....

Okay....I definitly dont know what Im writing..but arent I at least telling the truth?
I thought I had some of my old family back but then that past appears in my mind and shreds memories and I end up getting this heavy feeling in my chest, like something is about to rip apart...Idk, it's either my senses talking...or Im going completely physco.


All I Can Do Now Is Sit Back, Listen To Music And Wait To Be Ripped Apart By Someone I Care About

~ MoyashiLotus

WOW.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Mwahaha...thats all I wanted to do. XD

Well..less jus say that...I havent COMPLETELY lost contact with my former bro..he calls me once in a blue moon and he's always on MSN LATE on weekends. X__X

And Im loving my new life somehow...like, I am never emo or sad or thinking emoness. Im always acting stupid or thinking really weird. O___O

hmmms....and my fam's become diff too...like, I dont have much contact with Jasdero or Mr. Grumpy Pants anymore...so I guess they're off me list. o__o
And Okto & I dont talk like we used to..I THINK!!...cuz idk. seems diff somehow. o__o
and Steph, well...I just never talk to her. My uncle says she's always out at the library or with her friends. O__O"

Well, at least I got my fam at skewl...who I hafta say. dont really change much. o__o"
Uhm, Jenny and I, we're like, abnormal children near each other...well Im the abnormal she's like "I dont know that lady" kinda person. XD
Annie and I...well we're like tight sisters! She's older, but who cares. XD We're there for one anoder always!
Tammy and I...well..She's my Mini Usa-chan!..LOL yush! I am teh child in the fam!
and My bro Daniel. o__o....MY PERVERTED TWIN!! *hugggles him*..what else can I say? XD

Bwahaha...well thats it about my fam and such...but wither way...I LOVE THEM ALL EQUALLY!!
hmm....I just wonder If They all TRUST me? o_o"
Ableh...Me, me so dumb. >.<

lol...well againzz... g2g....Sleepy Time. V_V"
and NO! JEN! I SHALL NOT GET GROUNDED!! ONLY BRO AND SIS CAN GROUND ME!!! MWAHAHAHA!! >D



~ MoyashiLotus

Swearing/Complaing Blog. o-o

Hey guys!...omg! Today...Friday May 8th 2009!!
Was a VERY good day...besides the gossip of course. XD

Gosh..at school, like...SO MUCH FUN.
Well at lunch recces, Annie, Jenny, Daniel and I, we went to the back of the field and "talked"
and it waz funz.
Like, we were truly acting like a fam...we're the new QUADROPLETS! In the school. it's awesome. 3 girls one boy. 2 Asians, 1 portugese and 1 spanish. LOL
We're a family of adopted kids. XD

well it waz funn....till people started hating. AHAHAHA! who gives a shit?
*raises hand* I DONT!
Really...ever since, ehm..Tues when those two left....I dont give a dam about anything. I could get runned over by a car myself and I wouldnt give a dam about my life about being lost.
I know Im not trusted by people who say they trust me. I can feel it...I know people dont like me cuz I hang out with my bro.
Really, I dont give a dam about their thoughts or whatever the hell they think about.
Cuz it's my life. let me live it in a happier way rather then being EMO/GOTHIC.
Cuz really, I am sooooo SO SO SO SO! Done with it!
People who gossip...they say things to get the other person sad.
People who say shit about the other...say things to get them down.

For both things. They can both be former friends or current friends or foes. But it ends in the same result, them being happy and having a goddam happy life! While the person isnt so happy and they think "omg! wha'd I do? What can I do to solve this? Will I ever be her friend again?"
Again. while they're happy and act all buddy buddy with the rest but forget about the person they hurt.
Dude/dudette...I am so FUCKEN DONE WITH THAT! I've been through hell, I've been told shit about me, I've been accused, I've Been hated onm Ive been glared upon...

I DONT GIVE A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT THAT FUCKINGNESS ANYMORE!!
LIKE SCREW THAT!!!

I am so sick of people thinking that they can do something to the people you care about and then end up being buddy buddy with you. NO WAY!

These are MY RULES!
1. You mess with my family, I will be fucking PISSED!
2. Okay, Hate on whoever I hang with, but dont take it to fucking far!

So far thats all I can think of...but yeah...you get the point...and it's no lie either.
the family thing we got going on...Yeah..we're all kids with issues in our real fam so all we have is each other actually.
So...that fam..I describe as my real fam..cuz whenever I come home...it's just..shit....Idk, I hate it sometimes....My mom and bro argue! My mom smokes like no tomorrow, my bro yells, Im always left alone yelled at. YADA YADA!!!
The rest...have issues I dont want to repeat...but you get my point I hope.

err!...thinking about this pisses me off. -_-...BYE BYE HAPPY MOOD!
Idk...but like...it pisses me off so badly when I hear that this person did this cuz one of my sis is hanging around our bro and they cant hang out with him cuz my sis's friend doesnt like him...LIKE WTF IS THAT?!
...Isnt that just ruining their life even more?!

Arrrg!....I dont like my year...AT ALL!

I get a call from Michael...y'know, the bro that left me...we talked he talked...AND HE CHANGED IN JUST A WEEK!! SO DID MY COUSIN STEPH! LIKE HOLY SHIT!

...It's like I dont know them anymore. T^T

Grrr....what else?

...IDK!!!!

BUT WHOLE POINT IS!!
I DONT GIVE A DAM ABOUT GOSSIP OR TEARS ANYMORE!

SHED A TEAR!
I WONT FALL FOR IT!
FAMILY COMES FIRST IN MY WORLD NOW! IT'S THE ONLY THING I HAVE AND I DONT WANT TO LOOSE! I LOOSE ONE MORE FAMILY MEMBER I SWEAR TO FUCKING ASS GOD SHIT I WILL FUCKING LOOSE MY MIND! I WILL COMMIT SUICIDE AND IF IM TOO WHIMPY TO DO THAT I WILL BECOME EMO AND CUT MYSELF EVERY DAM DAY TILL I HAVE NOTHING TO CRY ABOUT OR FEEL ABOUT..TILL THE DAY I BECOME FUCKING NUMB!

I hope that blew off some steam for me....OKAY SORRY!
I didn't really mean to swear that much or something but...I had all that bottled up and If I were to just...Yeah..keep it bottled Up I would end up saying it out loud sometime. ^^"

SOWWIES!
And If any of my siblings are reading this then...DONT GROUND ME! O~O

~MoyashiLotus

Hey..

Well...Hi again?
haha, it's been a lot of days since my last blog...I dont know why Im writing one now.
I guess just to make sure you guys know im still living and ALIVE.

Yeah, they moved, maybe thats why I havent written, it's hard to really talk about them, my heart really gets sore whenever I just think or even say their name...like right now, Im talking about them and my heart feels heavy, like it's going to fall off andmy tears will never stop...
Nope, no phone calls, no visit...I wont see my 2 siblings ever, or talk to them. Ever.
My family even decresed, half the people dont talk to me anymore. *sighs*
I guess they figured it was no point..and well....at least I talk to Jasdero sometimes, he calls to check up on me, saying it's his job since...Mikey...left me alone here....
and Kevin well.....he just drops by...His uncle's killing him at the store, I dont know what really happened, just that he got into some trouble and they took his comp away. *shrugs*
No matter how I see it, everything's changing.

Those two arent the only ones moving. Next is my special sis Annie.....I hadda find out on my own, and lastly.....Plain idiotic me.....I freaked, didn't take it that hard...I mean, Im pretty much used to people leaving me by now....I lost a lot of siblings and family....FRIENDS.

*sighs*...At least I kept some, but...it doesnt feel the same, y'know?
Well. Look at it like this, A flower, with all it's petals, but then seeing each one fall of, one by one...what's different?...the petals falling, sure, it lives, but does it really look the same?
No...it doesnt, cuz it's changed, but it's still living.

I swear, sometimes I just want to grab something sharp and....*sighs*....I can't do that....I made a promises to Annie and Okto....and even Frida....screw, I dont care If she doesnt talk to me anymore, I swore to her I wouldnt cut myself...so I wont...unless she doesnt care...then idk...*sighs*
complications, complications, complications.....
Right Now, all i can say is that, the pair of scissors I have in my room are tempting me to just grab them and cut myself, so I could cry and feel pain at the same time...idk why, but it's like i feel like i deserve to be hurting and to be feeling pain.

Aw, man....why am I even talking about cutting myself....*holds head* Im not emo....Im not...Just an idiot.

†Family†
†Sis†
Annie
Tammy
Tori
Oktober
Lydia
Jenny
Tamara

†Bros†
Daniel
Jasdero
Kev
Joey
Kahleel

...that's about it NOW...

At least the memories are around. No wait...Nevermind, I could actually survive better without the memories, one less thing to mourn over. >.< Gosh, I wish I coulda read that poem earlier.

You'll Be Okay.

Losing someone is hard but you'll get over it someday. They'll always be with you in every step you take, every tear you drop and every day that you survive to. You're a lotus and you have to bloom and grow to your full passion. Do this for them and they'll be in your heart.

Dedication : You Know Who You Are. <3

...I wish I wouldve seen that when she first wrote it..but i saw it today...either way, im still in pain and just to see that or she cares without even telling me...it makes me feel a lot better...Makes me confident in that i actually will be okay sooner then how I would actually be...
I can't lie though, there's probably just 3 people who actually care that im in this state I think...erm, Annie? Okto? Lydia?
eh,heh,heh....Im never fully sure of anything anymore...Stupid me....Stupid Beansprout Me....

Oh gosh...Im always being referred to as a Moyashi or Lotus Now...Moyashi by everyone else, Lotus by most of my friends in my class...well it's pretty cool, i have a relation to Kanda and Allen...

and another thing! Do you know that I hate beyonce now?..idk why....brings bad memories...and I hate Yoruichi from bleach too! Arg!...idk why, again with the memories thing....Im really surprised I dont hate d.gray man....but I can never look at Lavi Or Lenalee anymore...
and it's hard for me too refer to Timcanpy as a guy now...but i'll get used to it since Timcanpy really is a boy. ^^
And yeah....im trying out new Anime...I went back to Ouran since it's the only Anime that ever makes me laugh so hard and Im trying out Pandora hearts stil. ^^

Ne,ne...I think I spilled my heart out enough...I need sleep...more then I've gotten...I barely get any, but I NEED SLEEP!....I'll See If I Can Type a happier blog next time. we'll see. =P

Write To Yeah Latorz

~ MoyashiLotus

Happy Blog? o_o"

Ok, screw it, im not gonna leave you guys with a gothic, darkish, pissed offy blog. -_-

Besides the emoness, and I do mean it when i mean emoness!
Besides all that,
I have something to look forward to this weekend, I'm sleeping over my friend L-kun's house!8D
Hopefully, her and her stubborn ways can get all this off my mind...for the weekend at least.

We're going cosplay meterial shopping on saturday! 8D
Im gonna be at her house at Friday night, she's picking me up around 7. goshy's can't wait!
Lol, wanna know something funny? XD
My mom kicked both me and my bro outta the house this weekend.
she's going out with her friends saturday night. XD
My bro's staying over my cousin's house and Im staying over my friend's house, well I think of her as my cousin since I've known her since I was born, so all my life. ^^
and she got me into anime too and D.Gray Man. o__o

wow...L-KUN ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF! 8D
lol, From the two of us, Im the hyper one and she's the one who doesnt talk much but makes jokes, kids around,plays video games and so on and so forth. o__o
lol, i like that too!! But if you were to actually see us, we would look nothing like that.
I dress like a fricken preppy. -_-
and she looks gothic. lol, we're teh ODD FRIENDS! 8D

AGAIN!! I can't wait till Friday, also cuz, I get to go half day to school, cuz
1. I gotta pack.
2. Im too sick to participate in gym.
3. Needa get ready. >3
4. I want to
and
5. I wanna have time to talk to peeps before the weekend. 3 days with no comp? o__o IDK.
6. 1 MORE THING!...I GOTTA HIDE MY PRECIOUS LP FROM MOM AND BRO! XD

yush...i am the annoying one of the bunch in my fam. ^^
but now im also the only younger teenage girl...only 2 teenage girls in my fam. o_o

well, no, there's more, but yeah, we had some fam problems so we had to split, like they were taking sides.
I havent seen half of my cousins for about 5 years now. *sniffles* ;_; I miss them.

ableh..what was I talking about...?

Ah, yesh! teh sleepover...well we're gonna get really creative and make Ulqiorra's[i think thats how you spell it.] cosplay from bleach, my friend was gonna cosplay L, but she wants to cosplay Ulqiorra and I said she can and I can help and thats what im gonna do. 8D
For my cosplay well...i was gonna buy it, but NAW, Im gonna go as Allen Walker, casual look, so what he would wear without his uniform, i have everything complete except for the wig, a red ribbon, and a pair of white gloves...pray for me. Im scared of not making a very good cosplayer. V_V"

LOL Funniest thing we're gonna do is...MAKE FREE HUGS SIGNS!!!! YAY!!!
We want to get hugs from cosplayers..Like last time!..I HUGGED EDWARD WLRIC LAST TIME!!
But this time it's our chance to ask cosplayers if they want hugs! 8D
please hope my shyness doesnt take over....aw, I wish I had my bro there, he would motivate me or ask the guy or yell, or something and If I had my sis there o.o, gosh! I might as well just run up to the cosplayers and ask for a hug myself! . But they'll be gone by then. T-T *sniffs* ...still hurts to think about it...I know I said I was gonna accept it but, it aint that easy. I can tell you that...*sighs*

Um yeah...back to before.
I hope my shyness wont take over, Im really gonna need hugs. ^^
Oh! and maybe We'll get to know some people there. =D

well, ive been typing for awhile and I should get some sleep. Night.

"Understand what is really being heard. Put yourself in other people's shoes."


Ttyl guyz


~ Moyashi