Confused

Fck....Idk why but once I got home it was like a bad feeling went by. The move is another, the feeling of being guilty for the new msn and such is another...then My bro's still upset, I worry for him with his behaviour, it cant be pretty and I dont think I mentioned what he did last night...
he came to my house grabbed my camera deleted all his photos from there and even my computor, I just sat there and watched it go by, I never really noticed what he did till I looked at my comp and camera myself...he even took the pics I had in my album....
I was upset with him for doing that...but I can see why he would do such a thing, I dont blame him...I can tell myself he was crying that night...his eyes were red.
Then that same night he told me to stop calling him such names like Usagi or Usa-chan, like he doesnt want to be remembered like that anymore.....

I was on the phone with him today...he tried acting all happy, never works for him...then I ended up talking to my sis cuz he went outside in the RAIN with no jacket to kick the ball around and blow of some steam, yes of course the idiot got SICK. -_-
I really hope he's alright though. I hope his parents dont trust him less as it is, he doesn't need that at all.

...Don't ask about the blog before....Idk what's gonna happen or If any trust and such will ever build up ever again. My mind says one thing My heart says another. I swear it used to be so easy when i used to think with both mind and heart, now it's confusing between mind and heart...Using metaphors If you don't know. ^^

GRAH! Life's so confusing and frustrating!...I have no hapiness in me anymore. -_-
The only times I used to actually really smile was around my fam...about 2 months ago, now it's all falling apart and in a really bad way...Yeah...NO POSITIVE THING IN THIS BLOG TODAY!

And people say Im supposed to be the happy one.

Grrsherness, Ive been sick at school all week and like barely smiling, today we had an assembly and I had to red some stuff and people thought I was DEPRESSED. Idk if it's with what's going on or If it's just me. *shrugs*
At least I won the cooperation award. Im in a babyish middle school. dont ask. -_-

Well, wish me luck with the future, cuz I have a feeling it wont be pretty with what's coming to me at all...I hope it wont end up like that. I've been crying enough as it is [Most of the week/month] *sighs*

...w/e.... I guess....
YO NO ESTOY IMPORTANTE!! :'(

~ Moyashi

Half/Half O_e"

Hm, yeah...you know me...being the emo one now a days. XD
naw, so not me to cut myself, but one things for sure.
My mood can be brought down easily o.e"

Arg!! today, one of my sibs doubted another of my sibs. [internet friends]
saying he wasn't real and he was a fake..like frig, that there pissed me off, and really brought down my mood to a ZERO.
Okay, I know things have happened to her with her other sis who she REALLY cares about. [another internet friend]
But still!! I could be having my own problems Ive got to still deal with and I know she was in a bad mood but yeah...couldn't she think of my feelings? I wasnt in a good mood either even though it seemed like it. Yeah, Im the kind of person that keeps things bottled up and helps other...friggin hate that. -_-

Again, I didnt show it that I was in a bad mood so she took it out on me..AND IM YOUNGER THEN HER TOO!! ARGH!!! Man I was pissed...Like then 3 sibs...saying she hasnt seen em and she thinks they're not reall people...like..wtf?! It's not their fault, their parents are fricken strict, I SHOULD KNOW! And then it seemed like she was asking me all these questions like I knew..I didnt wanna fight with her so i didnt protect yelling they were real...i was letting her think whatever she wanted then she questioned me like bad cop good cop....god dammit.
I have more problems to deal with then that and her sis, it's one and I care..but still!...*sighs*
I knew she wouldnt let it go, and I didnt wanna deal with it so....I made a new msn. -_-
And when I told My bro, one of the "fake" people. -_-
Yeah, he got sooooo upset, he didnt bother wanting to tell the other two, and i didnt want to.
again, he was upset and said some things that are really too sad to retype or anything...but those words did hurt him cuz it really wasnt his fault and he thought they were the inseperable trouble twins or something, idk...well yeah..he's hurt, but he got over it.

Sad part is...him and one of my sis's family they're moving to the U.S ... dont ask those two are REALLY close friends so they like go everywhere, now thats what i call INSEPERABLE.
But yeah...they're like my parents and they're leaving me here.....I told them how I felt
and they comforted me...I cried but they said it would be okay and they would call me...and I trust them to do so and it's like what they say "If you love something, You gotta let them go."
I agreed to it...saddest part!...they're moving on TUESDAY...it's soo soon! and Im busy this weekend...so I'll probably only get to see them on Sunday Night and a bit of Monday...but thats it. then they leave....ugh...and then someone foes saying they're fake....thats what got to me. T^T
It's okie anyways..I bet she'll be forgiven. O~O



Yeah! Back to before!...I made a new msn, then added the people I wanted to. Happy kinda people. 8D
well yeah...and when I did make that new msn...it felt like a new beginning. ^^
I had some fights with friends, i told her I wanted a restart with the friendship and she agreed and idk everything felt like new. =D
I even felt more happier. ^^

I talked with tons of people and idk..it seemed more happy! and my mood went from sad and sighing from Happy and giggly. o___o
it's like....weird...I never thought it would be THAT easy.....Im thinking of getting new accounts and such everywhere. ^^

Idk...today was a weird Day...like a half/Half personality. o__o

LOL Maybe. XD

Well Ttyl. Bye. ^^

~ Moyashi

Bad/Good o.o

§• S¤I¤L¤E¤N¤C¤E •§

Silent Whispers
Silent Tears
I Wonder What Else I Have To Fear.
Silent Night
Silent Goodbyes
I Hope I'll Never Get To Hear A Last Good Bye.


†• W*I*S*H*E*S •†

†I Wonder When I'll Get To See Those Smiles.
†The Ones That Make You Want To Smile.
†I Wonder When I'll Be Able To Hug You.
†To Know You're Safe And Happy.





Some Poems I had in mind to type.....
*sighs* Not so much in the happy mood, meh you can probably tell from the poems. -_-"

Well yeah...happy part is, a friends gonna live. [Not talkint about what happened. >.< ] Bad part is. I know too much sick people. >.< [ Not gonna talk about that either. -_- ]

Errrrr...I hate the hospital and doctors they freak me out, but they help people so you gotta trust them. Dx Well..today I got scared. Heard non-stop coughing and voices like they were fading.*shivers* I didnt like that sight or anything and all those pescriptions.. UGH! *twitch twitch*

Im gonna breakdown, either yell, or scream or just stay away from the comp cuz coming on never helps me. I dont know why...I should try it one day, just stay away from the comp for awhile. ...............................Okay, yeah,...THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! *clings to comp* This thing is like my baby! Ask anyone who knows me! IM ALWAYS HERE!!...MY COMP! RAWRZ! ;_;

Oh wait...Lol, lemme tell you the good Part at least. I have a sleepover to go too this weekend starting Friday with my friend. Remember that Anime Con? Anime North?..Yeah well..we going meterial shopping on Saturday!! 8D Yeah...we're not gonna buy the costumes/cosplays we're gonna try being creative and make them!...Wish us luck cuz, I don trust myself with a sewing needle.

For example this could happen

Me: *holding Needle* Ooooh! Shiny point! *pokes it* OWIE!!! ;__;

Friend: Moya-chan!! I told you not to fiddle with that! gimme! *grabs it* OW! NOW I HURT MYSELF!

Me: AH!!! WE'RE BLEEDING!!! CALL 911!!

Friend: THAT WONT WORK!! *runs to the kitchen*

Me: Then what? ;__;

Friend: *comes back with towels* AH HA!

Me: ;__;"

Friend: *starts cleaning the floor* MUST.CLEAN! *_*

Me: ehto...What about my finger? o.o"

Friend: GO TO THE SINK THE FLOOR HAD OUR BLOOD ON IT!

Me: OKIE!

....yeah...you can see why you should NEVER trust me with pointy sharp things. o__o" lol, hopefully we're not so stupid enough to bleed at all. ^^" well naw, my friends responsible she'll probably be taking care of the needle while I do some other artsy crafty stuff like....getting the pieces together! 8D Oh well, not long till the con..MAY 23!!! WOOT!!! CANTS WAITSY TILL THE CON!! GONNA GET FREE HUGS!!
LOL Yeah, we're making signs saying "Free Hugs!"...Gosh I hope Im not shy to do that. I WANNA HUG SOME COSPLAYERS! =D...ESPECIALLY A KANDA! IM GONNA PROVE THAT KANDA HAS A SOFT SIDE! >=D

Gosh...Im so lonely now a days...I HAVE NO HANG OUT GROUP AFTER SCHOOL!!
My bro is always busy now >.< and my sis is always with my bro....NO THEY ARE NOT DATING!! O.e" [Sorry Jen I know you want them to date. XD ]

HAHA!...Well Yeah..I think thats all I gotta say for today well...Asta La Way Go? o.o

LOL

Bye! <3

~ Moyashi

My Family. ♥

hmm..welll I noticed that, Im always put into A LOT of families. o,o

...

Yeah so. Im in a lot of families lately and to tell you the truth, it's pretty awesome to be in a fam.
Im in a lot of them.
One with My friends at school, like 3 gr. 7s, with my 2 older bros named Joey and Daniel and My self, we're the gr. 7s, then my older sis Tori.
Man, it's no joke, when they're you're family they CARE!
No lies, when I was going to my locker, my big sis Tori was all like "hey whats wrong?" and trying to look at me and I would just ignore her, I eventually told her on MSN.
and then in class I was all emo looking and my big bro Daniel was trying to make me laugh and I wouldnt but he tried anyways and kept trying, I still didnt laugh or smile though. YESH! I AM A STUBBORN CHILD!...-_-"
Uh, just so you wont forget I'll make some lists showing the fams. ^^

School Fam
Big sis
-Tori <- HUGGLES! 8D

Big Bro's
-Daniel M <- Naw, you dont wanna know..IM INNOCENT! XD
- Joey <- We don't get along. o_o"

Ableh..well...thats my school and my everyday fam I guess...but when I get home it's...different.
I have 3 other different families, the normal one including me, my REAL bro and my mom, then the one with my cousin as my overprotective big sis and her friend Michael as My annoying big overprotective bro...well actually those two are like my VERY overprotective parents. No really, they act more like my parents then my ACTUAL parents. o.o"
There's more..but yeah. I dont wanna add. XD

LOL then there's my other family..gosh it includes a lot, and yesh, they're all OLDER then me, ill just tell you their names..heres the list!

At Home/Online Fam =O
Big sister's
-Steph < -We're cousins, but we treat each other like sisters! =D
-Oktober <- MY HYPER BIG SIS! >D
-Frida - My Pervy sis =3
- Nadine <- Run from the short trouble maker.=O
-Annie - YATA!! MY PERVY BUDDY! MY OTAKU SIS! AND THE PERSON TO STICK TO!! xD

Big Brother's
-Michael - MY FIRST EVER BRO/PERCY BUDDY!!! YATA!!>D
-Kevin - Dude's always silent >.<
-Gabriel - RUN FROM THE FRILL HOLDER o_o"
-Andrew - Smarty Pants ^_~
-Jasdero - RUNAWAY FROM HIM! =P
-Devitto - FUNNY BRO! ^^
-Tyki <- Got nothing to say. =S
-Allen <- I like throwing pies at him >D
-Seb <-Scary dude O.o
-Grell <- Has an obsession with me sis Okto. >.>..MUST.KILL *_*/XD

OMG! And how could I forget my school ANIME FAMILY?! 8D
Gosherness, you'll never guess, kay, at the start, i began a OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB fam an there are 3 people who were in it first, it was me, Annie and My friend TAMMY!
I was Tono and they were the twins. the family is complete but..the rst sorta dropped it, we keep it going. WE GOTS TO SPREAD THE LOVE! XD

Original Anime FAM at school. >3
Me! <-> Tamaki
Annie <-> Hikaru
Tammy <-> Koaru

BWAHAHA! My fam's rock!
We SHAL RULE TEH WORLD AND SPREAD TEH LOVE! >3

...Imma stop before I type anymore. o.o"

~ Moyashi

One Of my videos...the only amv Im actually really proud of. I hope you like it, I worked really hard on it.

Me

Okay, hi...as you can see, this is my first blog, im a noob at this, but my friend says this is her hobby and it helps her. I'm Not trying to copy her, but maybe Once in a blue moon I can write my problems somewhere. y'know where it wouldnt be discussed by the whole world and ruin my life. so I thank a bunch to her.

Well Here goes...

My real name's Melanie, but Call Me Moyashi. ^_^
Moyashi means Beansprout in Jap.
Lol dont ask, I watch Anime and Ive been addicted to a show called D.Gray Man, the main charactor is called Allen Walker, and this other guy named Kanda calls him a Moyashi/Beansprout cuz he just hates his guts I guess. o_o
Well yeah, I roleplay Allen even though I am a GIRL, and somehow I got the name Moyashi by a few friends. ^^

I make AMVs or Anime Music Videos who those who don't know what that means, check em out, search my name up on youtube XxAnimexLuvrxX. Im not good but it's another hobby I have, next to Drawing and writing, and I guess blogging a bit? o_o

Yeah, im a total Anime freak, dont hold it against me, Im hyper when I want to be cuz of that part of my life. According to some of my friends Im a total Gundam Seed Otaku and D.Gray Man Otaku. I don't see it.
And yes! I do love fictional/Animated Charactors! ZOMG! How can you people not?! It's just like loving Edward Cullen from Twilight. XD
Lol, i roleplay charactors whether they're a guy or a girl, and I cosplay/dress up as them, lol well I WILL. I'm going to be cosplaying Allen Walker, casual dress up at Anime North 2009! I'll be going with one of my bestest Buddeh. She'll be cosplaying L from Death Note! WOOT! I Can't Wait! 8D

mmm, what else can I say?...Uh okay, I love to draw, Im not exactly good at drawing, but its another hobby so I get to do it a lot. My friends love my drawings, including some teachers, oh well, i cant blame them for liking them.
I like creating my own sayings. They're like really short though and sometimes a whole poem. lol, maybe one day I'll post them up, you'll have to wait and see. But I promise I'll post them up sooner or lator If I ever come back that is.

Okay! The way I live...well..not much to say, Im Christian-Catholic, I speak spanish? o_o
erm, well yeah, thats how I live..oh! and about like negativity anf positivity and stuff and always using metaphors, but again, thats it. ^^"

And lastly about my troubles..jeez, there's a lot. I hate it so to speak. Currently im in some sorta friend drama with a 2 other good friends. I really hate it. I feel so fricken Emo.
Like, at school, I dont talk and when I come home, it's like a spells been broken and I can smile and laugh cuz I have family that bring happines..yeah, I never mentioned but I have friends that I call my brother or sister, like my buddies Michael, Oktober, Annie, and my cousin Steph and more. I don't know why but they make me happier then my friends at school, like whenever I have a bad day the only thing I ever think of at school is "Is class over yet? I wanna go home and talk to My Fam." lol, I'll tell you more about my happy friends/family and there ways in another blog maybe.
*sighs* But right now with my peeps at school...yeah...I dont know, I feel like I cant trust most of them, mainly I only trust like, 3 good friends and the other 2 that want me back are saying these things they dont actually do or mean it...I dont know, we'll see what happens lator.
I'll probably get pissed off during the week or feeling emo so I'll tell you then.

Sorry If what i wrote has mistakes and all, my grammar's really bad in so many ways, and im too lazy to check over my spelling. =P

Well, I'll write to you latorz. Ttyl!

~ Moyashi